The Amazing Dr. D & a little self-realization

A confession of sorts...


I have a confession. I think I am in love with my therapist and my husband doesn't mind.  In fact, he encourages me to see him. Yep, I have therapist, we'll call "the Amazing Dr. D" for purposes of this blog and he is an amazing man who doesn't just sit, listen and take notes. Heck, if that's all I needed in life I could just go to confession at church or start a blog.... 
The Amazing Dr. D is amazing because he really listens for the things that are not being said, he asks the difficult questions no one else will ask and more importantly, he actually thinks I am funny. 


The best part?  He has a white board and markers and he is not afraid to use them.  


The funny part? He was actually my hubby's therapist first and I only got to start seeing him after the hubs declared he had absolutely nothing more to talk about in therapy and gave me permission to call him.


The real confession?  I started seeing someone else while the hubby was seeing the Amazing Dr. D because there was a conflict of interest, but the minute the hubs cut him loose, I broke up with my first therapist and ran straight to Dr. D's office. 


You think it is hard to stop seeing your hair dresser, try breaking it off with someone you've paid to listen to your most intimate life details and give you feedback who also wrote it all down. Even worse, I did not even bother to officially break it off with a personal conversation. Nope, I just stopped making appointments and returning phone calls.  Awful I know and honestly, so unlike me as I am rarely the passive aggressive type, but how else can you tell your therapist that it is just not working out without having to have another session about why your breaking it off?  Guess this is something I should discuss in my next session with Dr. D.


Anyway, the good news is I've moved on and many of my friends have benefited as a result. I truly believe everyone and I mean everyone could use someone neutral to talk to about the chaos of everyday life and no, that does not mean your best friend, your partner or your kid.  You need someone who you will not see at work, at home or in your social circle who can take some of the big stuff off your plate and carry it around for you. Even if you are a talker like me or especially if you are a talker like me, you need someone in your life whose only job is to listen and not judge.  


I so believe this that I recommend the Amazing Dr. D to everyone I know, whether they ask for a recommendation for a therapist or I just see that they need to talk with someone. So many people in fact that the Amazing Dr. D now admits that he has to work his schedule so my friends and I don't run into each other in the parking lot or waiting room. The only thing I can think of that would be more awkward than running into a friend or acquaintance at your therapist's office would be running into someone at the plastic surgeon's office or maybe the Hustler store.  Not that I've ever had that happen.


The point?


All that being said and my, that was a lot, the point I want to make is that we all have a lot going on every day and it is really important that we each take the time to regroup occasionally, to think about ourselves, where we are emotionally and physically and what, if anything, needs to be tweaked or celebrated. My hubs and I have been together for 14 years, married for almost 7 of those 14 and honestly, without our first therapist in Chicago who got us past a really rough patch in 2002 and the Amazing Dr. D who helped us both to realize how lucky we are to have each other we would not be where we are today - happy individually and together and ready to bring a new person into our lives in less than 6 months.  We are going to be great parents because we will be real people who share, argue, laugh, cry and savor every day and I can say that we have to give our therapists a little credit for giving us some of the tools we needed to get us here.


A little self-realization with the Amazing Dr. D


The question: well Jen, how do you relax? 


My unedited answer: hmm, well, you mean now that I am pregnant and don't have the energy to cook, cannot really run more than 2 miles and can no longer drink wine? 


Answer from a bemused Dr. D: yes, Jen, now that you have had to adjust your schedule of cooking, slowed your running and don't drink wine. 


My response: (long pause) well, I have a you (smile), but honestly, I don't know that I've relaxed since June 24 at 5:45 am when I peed on a stick and it screamed "pregnant" in big red letters. Ugh, this sounds like a problem.


Dr. D (sad smile): Yes, this is what we need to work on.  We need for you to figure out how to live in the moment and start enjoying these things each day rather than worrying about the next weeks, month, year.


Me: Sounds like a challenge. We have less time to prepare for this baby than we did for our wedding.  That is crazy. Guess it is time to look into that yoga class, huh?


Dr. D (laughing): yes, let's start with yoga and let's go ahead and book your next visit.